alright so last night i got out of the shower and my aunt told me my parents had to rush the dog to the emergency clinic because he was breathing weird and his pulse wasn’t right and his tongue was kinda blue

they got there and it turned out he had a pericardial effusion (it’s like…the sack around the heart was filled with fluid or something) that was basically drowning his heart and so they needed to drain that fluid out so he didn’t just die so when they drained the sack or w/e they saw a mass on/in his heart which is probably a hemangiosarcoma which is basically untreatable. it doesn’t respond at all to chemo and you can’t remove it because it’s in the heart and um duh you need your heart? so um.

yeah. and usually once they find it the average like…time left for the dog is like 6-8 weeks i think my mom said but i mean there’s probably dogs that have lived way longer than that but still like we don’t want him to be in pain and shit like that and it’s just…jesus christ.

now, i’m not a dog person and i’ve been in a good mood because of this boy stuff the past few days so i’m not going to be crying myself to sleep but god. my brother has been in his room crying like since we got home from school practically and alex and jon and dede came over and alex was crying and hugging bob for like half an hour and jesus do you know how unnerving that was? to see alex cry? shit, and patrick was talking about it and he sounded like he was getting teary. and obviously i feel really bad because it’s bob, the sweetest doofiest yellow lab ever, but i’m just not as attached to him as everyone else is. maybe i’m just turning my emotions off so i can try to focus on homework or something but god if/when we have to put him down, it’s gonna be so fucking awful.